Let’s say your job was to sit in front of the TV all day long, what shows would you watch? Well with my unemployment and my general lack of things to do, I feel as though that is exactly my job… and I’m here to tell you what shows I would watch. Now, I’m not actually going to do this, (actually it’s only 10am and so far I’m on track) at least I don’t think I will, but here’s what I would watch if I did:

Thursday, January 19th 2012

6:30-8:00 (ESPN)
SportsCenter/Breakfast – I always used to get up in the morning with SportCenter. It’s a great show to catch up on your sports and it’s a great show to have on in the background. As you will come to find out, I’ve scheduled my meals around SportsCenter. It’s practically on for 12 hours a day, and it comes at the perfect time for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus I’ll be up to date on all this super important sports news we all care about! Who needs CNN when you have ESPN?!

8:00-9:00 (Nickelodeon)
SpongeBob SquarePants – I know there are some SpongeBob fans out there. I’m a huge one, I’m 20 and I can still enjoy this show… come to think of it, I don’t know if that says more about SpongeBob or me. BUT, if you don’t like SpongeBob, I have a few choice of words for you, like you. and, are. and, A JERK!

9:00-10:00 (A&E)
The Sopranos – I love HBO shows, The Wire is the best tv drama ever. I hear great things about the Sopranos, yet I’ve never seen a full episode. I figure I have to watch an episode at some point in order to peak my interest! Now don’t get me wrong, when I watch shows I start from the beginning and watch them in their entirety, but one random episode won’t hurt right?! After all it is the Sopranos.

10:00-11:00 (USA)
Burn Notice – This show = not very good. However, this show (also) = awesome. Not all “not very good” shows are awesome though, it’s kinda like the squares/rectangles thing, if you know what I mean. This show is on USA and my rule of thumb for USA is that all it’s shows rock. These shows are pumped out like none other, even though they aren’t the best written, acted, produced, or edited. They are very, very entertaining! Plus on a side note, Clint Eastwood seems to like Jeffery Donovan, so why shouldn’t I!?

11:00-12:00 (Discovery)
How It’s Made/Nap Time – This Discovery show is kinda interesting, yet really boring. It shows you how things like grapples, dog sleds,  and retractable cords are made… like, in factories. I mean, yeah, it’s cool to have these random pieces of knowledge; maybe I can throw them in a friend’s face someday, “actually, no one makes dog sleds like that anymore, Steve.” But I’m gonna go on record saying, “I’ve had one of the best naps ever after I turned on this show.”

12:00-1:00 (Cartoon Network)
Looney Toons – Back to the cartoons! I watched Looney Tones all the time when I was a kid, my dad would tape them for us on VHS so we could watch them ANYTIME! It was great. Cartoon Network recently brought back an hour block of Looney Toons and it’s great. I can reminisce while I cheer on Wile E. Coyote to catch that darn RoadRunner.

1:00-2:00 (ESPN)
SportsCenter/Lunch – As I said before, SportsCenter is a great background show, it’s great to schedule meals around, and I can see if any sweet sports trades are happening!

2:00-3:00 (Comedy Central)
Scrubs – My favorite sitcom of the last 10 years. I have every season on DVD (besides the last “fake” one) and I can watch it at anytime. If you don’t watch Scrubs, you should start. It’s funny, even though I love Scrubs so much, I can’t think of much else to say. Maybe I will write an article about why it’s so great one day!

3:00-4:00 (MTV)
Jersey Shore – There was, like, nothing else on… and doesn’t everyone kinda like it…?

4:00-5:00 (TBS)
Friends – I’ve been on a big Friends kick recently, I’m not quite sure why, I’ve never loved Friends, but I’ve seen a lot of episodes. It’s a sitcom that has its moments and it’s pretty good show to kick back and watch. Friends was the Jersey Shore of 7 years ago! Except for not really at all…

5:00-5:30 (Comedy Central)
Always Sunny – I’d say Sunny has consistently been the funniest show on TV for the last 5 years. I know it’s grown in popularity quite a bit the past couple of seasons, but you cannot truly appreciate it unless you’ve seen it all. A lot of shows lose steam around the 5 or 6 season, but I have to say Sunny hasn’t let me down at all. They’ve been in prime form and I jump to watching reruns at any chance I get.

5:30-6:00 (Comedy Central)
South Park – This is without a doubt the funniest animated show ever. Parker and Stone have such a great vision and their social commentary is unmatched. It makes you think, while being straight up hilarious. A lot of people haven’t continued to watch it, but I have to say it’s still amazing.

6:00-7:00 (ESPN)
SportsCenter/Dinner – Dinner Time! I think there might be some different viewpoints about the same things they’ve talk about all day… I’m excited!

7:00-8:00 (TBS)
Seinfeld – “The Barber” and “The Movie” those are the two on tonight. Seinfeld is the best sitcom ever (sorry Arrested, you’re a close second). It may even be the best show of all time. Watch it at every chance you get!

NBC Lineup (30 Rock, Parks, The Office, Up All Night) – NBC has the best Thursday night lineup of any station, in my opinion, they have the best weekday lineup of any network. Let’s break it down. Now I used to be able to talk about how Community was the best written, most poignant sitcom on TV, but sadly it’s not “on TV” anymore. Oh well.

I have to admit, I’ve not seen 30 Rock from the beginning, I’ve actually only seen a handful of episodes. However, it’s great, there’s a very talented cast and watching it from season 1 is on my to do list.

I cannot say enough about Parks and Recreation, because no one does. It’s great. It’s my favorite show on TV. No one gives it the credit it’s due. It’s by far the most talented cast on TV and I laugh more watching that show than any other. The key is to get to know the characters, they all fit in perfectly together and are all hilarious. Please watch this show and talk to me about how great it is. I want someone to make fun of Jerry with.

The Office is still going, I have to admit, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. However, Michael Scott was far and away the best part of the show and I don’t think Andy was the right choice for boss. Ed Helms got the position because of the Hangover and his popularity. I’m still watching in enjoyment, but I’m waiting for it to end.

Up All Night is supposedly pretty dang good, I’ve not watched it, but once again it’s on my to-do list. I hope they cancel Whitney. I’m disappointed they cancelled Outsourced. Perfect Couples seemed to have came as soon as it went. Hopefully, Up All Night is indeed a good show, so it can hold down this, dreaded 4th spot.


So there you go, a whole day watching TV. Even though I didn’t actually do it, I might very well one day. So read and take notes, if you’re ever stuck in this horrible position, were you have to watch TV ALL day, you’ll know exactly what to do!