Tag Archive: Kobe Bryant

IT’S BEEN TOO LONG! I’m sorry to all my die-hard fans, fans of the movie Die Hard that is. I will never fail you again. So in repayment, I present you with the sixth edition of: Random Day, Random Things.




P.S. This will most likely be foreshadowing a future post.



So I figured I’d wait and lump two recaps together, instead of just one at a time. Here’s a link to NBA recaps from the past two nights, which this encompasses all the games played. 
BONUS: I threw in top plays courtesy of NBA.com for you!

NBA Recap: Monday, March 12th

P.S. I’d definitely go with Biyombo’s block to win the game… get out of here Derrick Rose. PLUS, it helped the Bobcats win their sixth game this season!

NBA Recap: Tuesday, March 13th

Why I (sorta) Hate ESPN 2

This is an NBA analysis from ESPN. We’ve asked all of our best analysts to get together and discuss the 2012 NBA season. They fully encompassed the entirety of the league and would like to fill everyone in on the current season. 

The NBA has a record high 9 players competing this year. Kobe Bryant, Kevin-Westbrook Russell Durant, LeBron James, Derrick Rose, Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin, Linsanity, Mr. Celtic, and Kyrie Irving. These 9 players take turns playing for 7 teams: The Miami Heat, OKC Thunder, Da Bulls, The Celtics, The New York Linsanitys, Team Lob-City and the oldest team in the NBA, the LA Lakers.

Dwight Howard is currently the only player in the NBA that doesn’t play for a team, he simply runs around blocking other people’s shots, rebounding, and missing free throws. He keeps looking for a team, but no one wants him. Many think it’s because of his uniform, which is simply a superman outfit.

As for the others, they all have historical accomplishments this season.

LeBron James now holds the record for “least amount of time it took to win an MVP.” He was declared MVP a mere 25 games into the season, due to having the best season in NBA history. Wilt Chamberlain and Oscar Robertson were the first to congratulate him on his accomplishments. They were quoted in saying, “Even though we had seasons when we averaged a triple-double and 50 points, 25 rebounds per game, LBJ’s ability to close out tight games really helped him dominate the NBA.”

Linsanity is currently the best play to ever play lin the NBA. He has all ready been linducted linto the Hall of Fame despite playing less than one season. During the second quarter of Linsanity’s first game, the New York Knicks declared their new team name, The New York Linsanitys. His mark on the NBA is linbeatable as he will NEVER be forgotten.

Meanwhile, Blake Griffin has set the record for most consecutive dunks without scoring any other way. He has now dunked over players 8, 9, and 10 feet in height. Griffin claims he is often bored, therefore the NBA assembled a team of cars to play Griffin. He proceeded to dunk all over them. He has been seen with another player that throws him alley-oops, but no one has ever caught his name.

Kyrie Irving is the NBA rookie this year. He was the only player drafted because the league didn’t think anyone else would be good. Since there were no other draft picks, Irving was declared Rookie of the Year the minute he was drafted. However, he still has a way to go until he’ll be as good as the other 8 players in the NBA.

Now we all remember the day Kobe Bryant founded the NBA. He was the first one to come into the league, thus leading the Lakers to 5 unopposed Championships. He has been the most dominant player the NBA has ever seen. This makes sense seeing as how he’s the oldest. This season he set the record for most points that anyone has ever scored in any sport. I mean this guy is amazing. We surely remember the game when we scored 81 points back when The New York Linsanitys didn’t have any players. Outside the NBA, he was recently uncharged for rape, due to his ability to play basketball.

Mr. Celtic is an amazing player, after all, he’s the first player that’s a combination of 4 other players. When Rajon Rondo, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce decided to fuse themselves into one guy, the world was shocked. However, this fusion was successful, and Mr. Celtic was born. Mr. Celtic has long been a rival to the Kobe-founded Lakers. They even beat Kobe for their own NBA championship, in the only game Kobe Bryant has ever lost. All is not good for Mr. Celtic, though. Due to the fusion he is aging incredibly fast and many scientists are looking for away to un-fuse this basketball monster, in order to save his life.

Despite Kevin-Westbrook Russell Durant’s name, he is just one person. He has scored all of the points the Thunder has ever scored. While other non-important players have come and gone, they’ve contributed a few points to other teams. However, no one else has ever recorded a point for the Thunder.

Derrick Rose is the youngest player ever to be invited to play in the NBA. He won his first MVP even though he was only 2 years old and had not yet learned how to smile. He is one of the best players in the NBA. However, his injuries are a problem. He has constant back problems because he’s constantly growing. To score, he simply sprints at the basket, flails his arms around, and throws the basketball in the air. This technique is nearly unstoppable, we are surprised no one else have figured it out until now.

In other news, Tiger Woods, Peyton Manning, Alex Rodriguez, and that one guy who plays soccer have decided to start competing against each other, due to the lack of competition they receive.

From ESPN, this is Cal Webb reporting.

The Sixers handle the Lakers at home, while Kobe makes history

I’ve been a big Sixers fan for awhile now, thanks to my boy Iverson. I’ll hopefully be able to write more about them and how I think there season will turn out.

For now here’s an article about their game last night. LOUUU goes off in the 4th to bury the Lakers! IT ROCKED.

Top 7 Players in the NBA

After watching Ric Bucher make a mockery of himself by picking his top 7 players in the NBA, I had to make a list of my own.  Here’s Bucher’s list:

  1. Kobe Bryant
  2. Derrick Rose
  3. Lebron James
  4. Dwight Howard
  5. Dwayne Wade
  6. Dirk Nowitzki
  7. Russell Westbrook

Now, I’ve never run into Bucher on TV before and I hope I don’t ever again. This list is just shameful, and I have a feeling he doesn’t actually watch the NBA. First off, to point out the obvious, the thing that everyone is talking about, he included Westbrook OVER DURANT.

 “Russell Westbrook does more of those things and is better at his position than Kevin Durant and that’s just a fact”

He’s some facts for you Bucher:

  • Westbrook had a game this year were he was 0-13 from the field with as many turnovers as points (4).
  • Durant has Westbrook beat in fg%, ft%, 3 pointers per game, rebounds, blocks, and points… perennially.
  • Durant is arguably the best scorer in the NBA, along the likes of Kobe and Carmelo.
  • Westbrook is not a top 10 player.

There are two other gripes I have with Bucher and his list.

  1. LeBron isn’t number one.
  2. He wanted to put Rose as number one.

LEBRON JAMES IS THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER IN THE WORLD. He just is. He is an absolute monster. This year he’s averaging 29 ppg, 7.5 apg, and 8.5 rpg, not to mention the fact that he’s shooting .570 from the field. This is the closest I’ve seen anyone to averaging a Triple-Double in awhile, and James just gets better and better each year. There is no current player better than James, the only thing he doesn’t have is Championships, but they will come.

Derrick Rose is good, he’s great, he’ll continue to be great and could easily be top 3 down the road, but he’s not number one. He’s not nearly as proven as every other player on the list, he’s had one great year, last year. Before that- he was good, but in order to be that high on the list (number one as Bucher wanted to put him) you have to prove yourself, year in and year out. Which Rose will no doubt prove himself, but in time. Yes, he did win MVP last year, but most of us forget what that means. Most Valuable Player, the one who helps their team out the most, the Bulls are nothing without him. Steve Nash has won MVP two, almost three times, where is he in the conversation?

Now that I’m done talking about this idiot Bucher, who gives me the confidence to know that I’ll have a job at ESPN tomorrow, it’s time for my top 7.

    1. LeBron James – His stats prove it, watching him proves it, now all he needs to do is win Championships.
    2. Kobe Bryant – He’s got the rings, he can score. This year he’s averaging over 5 rebounds and 5 assists per game (a career high). I don’t like him, but he’s damn good.
    3. Dwayne Wade – He won a championship, only with help from an aging Shaq. He takes over games.
    4. Kevin Durant – He can shoot better than anyone. He’s arguably the best scorer, and he’s getting better each year.
    5. Dirk Nowitzki – He’s been around forever, showed us how Europeans can ball. Finally won a championship last year, when he DOMINATED games… in the clutch.
    6. Dwight Howard – One of the last true (classic) Centers around. The Magic built a perennial playoff team around him. He can rebound and block shots better than anyone.
    7. Derrick Rose – He stepped his game up immensely last year and was the youngest player to win MVP in NBA history. Need I say more?
Rounding out the top ten, I have Paul, Anthony and Love. Love is a gutsy pick, but what can I say… I LOVE LOVE.
     For a good article about Ric Bucher and SportsCenter’s video of his Top 7… Visit: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1021819-ric-bucher-will-espn-analyst-backpeddle-from-his-misguided-nba-star-rankings